


Once Upon a Con

by MamaWantsDestiel



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: #CocklesWeek2015, 2nd work in fandom, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I failed, M/M, No Smut, because i prefer fluff, because i'm not great at writing that yet, from tumblr, guess i'm the type who needs some angst, tried to make it pure fluff, written for a prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4042480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaWantsDestiel/pseuds/MamaWantsDestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It happened at JIBCON. Of course it did. Misha usually manages to crash one or the other of his panels, whether it is with Jared or not, but the Jus in Bello Con is the only one where Jensen gets to spend any real time on stage with Misha. And while Misha is the funniest thing that has ever happened to him, he truly didn’t think he could fall in love with a co-star. Again.<br/>******<br/>Based on this tumblr prompt for CocklesWeek2015: Anonymous: “Prompt: friends to lovers, jensen realizes he’s in love with Misha during a con panel. Somehow Misha finds out and fluff ensues :D”<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Upon a Con

It happened at JIBCON. Of course it did. Misha usually manages to crash one or the other of his panels, whether it is with Jared or not, but the Jus in Bello Con is the only one where Jensen gets to spend any real time on stage with Misha. And while Misha is the funniest thing that has ever happened to him, he truly didn’t think he could fall in love with a co-star. Again.

Meeting Danneel had been like being struck by lightning. It had been quick, passionate, and everything Jensen had ever hoped. She is the love of his life, the sweetest, most understanding woman he had ever met. Long hours on set, weeks at a time away from home and their daughter, and Danneel just encourages him to go to the cons on his off time, have fun with the fans and send her love. Danneel is absolutely perfect.

Meeting Misha had been more like getting the air in his lungs punctured like a balloon with a piece of tape on it. Slow, over six years, descending into what he now realizes, is love.

Misha, at this point, looks over at Jensen and grabs his shoulder. The same spot he always grabs. It gets his attention, and at that point, Jensen realizes, ‘oh shit, we’re about to start a panel!’ He smiles at Misha when the man gives him a concerned look, asking if he’s okay.

“Yeah, man, I’m great. Come on, show’s about to start!” He replies, grabbing his hand and pulling up into a leap on stage, screaming and scaring the fans.

***

Jensen tries to stay on topic, on his game. He and Misha play with the toys on stage, play with the audience. He’s already caught himself stuttering over his words, and the panel has only just begun. 'I really need to get it together,' he thinks. As he plays with the toys, he figures if he can switch the focus to Jared, maybe he can focus less on Misha and his absolute perfectness.

_Wait where did THAT come from?_

Focusing on Jared stories, he is finally able to focus less on Misha and more on his voice.

_Shit, shake it off, Jen._

“Aw, now I miss him.” Jensen says. The audience responds with a collective ‘aww’. “I’m kidding, I don’t. Really. I…” _I’m having too much fun with Misha. Oh, shit! Quick! Backtrack! Backtrack!_

“…all miss him,” Misha says.

“No, I, I do. I do. I miss him and I know he misses us. And, uh, he sends, he sends his love. Uh, things are, things are good, things are cool….” ' _Oh my god, stop. You’re stuttering again,_ he thinks to himself, _abort! Abort!_ Jensen decides to redirect, he starts talking about the pranks on set, because the fans always love hearing about the pranks.

As he listens to Misha describe the differences in the pranking styles between himself and Jared, he realizes he is too warm on stage. The audience hoots and cheers, interrupting Misha’s commentary on Jen being a “friend and protector”. While he usually enjoys the attention, right now he just wanted to hear Misha’s thoughts on his pranks.

“Save it for when we take our pants off.” Misha comments.

Well. The things that come out of Misha’s perfect mouth.

Jensen decides he’s going to try to laugh it off… but this little niggle in the back of his mind is screaming YES, so he shakes his head and grabs his belt. As the cheering returns, he stops, and plays to Misha like he has no idea what the crowd is doing, or why.

_Come on Jen, tone it down. Not in public for goodness’ sakes._ He again redirects his attention to what’s happening, forcing himself to stop thinking.

Misha asks what he’s doing with his sweater, and he responds. Thoughts turn back to Misha and his mouth, when he notices Misha had taken a quick look at his groin-area. He looks down and notices the way the arms of his plaid shirt have framed his groin, and realizes he will need some liquid courage, or liquid ignorance, to continue the panel without giving himself away. Misha asks for a double. Is he asking for two drinks, or asking for Jensen to have twice as much? Either way, he’s good.

Misha has brought out the toys provided on stage, and Jensen is happy with the redirect. If he can again focus on the panel and less on Misha, he may make it through this intact. The conversation moves back to the pranks, as Osric joins the stage to pretend to be Jared. The re-enactment brings up memories for Jensen, and he happily joins in the fun, even explaining the situation to the laughing audience.

Once Osric leaves the stage, and Misha looks at him, he gives him his flirty look again, and Misha falls into genuine giggles. They do it again. Misha’s description of the wounded baby bird sends Jensen into embarrassment and laughter. There is nothing about Misha that isn’t funny.

Questions come within minutes, and Jensen looks forward to them, if only to force himself to pay attention to the fans. Luck isn’t with him, however, when the first actual question sends him reeling. It’s only worse when Misha refers to him as ‘green-eyed-grasshopper’.

_Oh, this panel…_

***

He and Misha notice the drinks have spilled, and run to the table to quickly drink it up. _Oh God his mouth and lips are so close to mine!_ Absentmindedly, he grabs the bottom of his shirt to wipe the whiskey from his mouth when he hears the audience cheering and realizes he flashed the crowd. Now he just feels stupid and embarrassed. Out of curiosity, he looks at Misha to check his reaction, wondering to himself if Misha’s expression will give him a hint at his thoughts.

_Misha is so beautiful when he laughs…God he really lights up a room!_

“You, you just – in one slight flip of the wrist, you just sold out Jus In Bello 2016!” Misha comments.

_Oh my god how does he always make me laugh when I’m so embarrassed? He’s perfect…_

***

After the closing ceremonies, Jensen leaves the stage and heads to his hotel room to be alone with his thoughts.

He replays the best moments of the panel, like he does every year. The famous dragon question, prompting him to think about Misha’s ‘pink dragon’, and whether or not he’d like to ride it. That left him stumbling over his own words. “Misha’s pink dragon?”

The dream conversation. _Jesus! Freudian slip much, Jen?_ At least when the conversation remained on the kids and poop, _poop? POOP? Of all things!_ Jensen’s comfort levels had begun to return to normal. Felicia asking for them to dance, well that’s nothing new. The DJ, however, playing “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”? For one heart-stopping moment, Jensen had been nervous. Looking at Misha, and seeing the man looking back at him, calm and collected, had encouraged Jensen to be brave and dance the Creaser.

Reaching his hotel room, he closes his door and changes into something more comfortable, aiming for a shower after a quick drink. He grabs a mini-whiskey from the room’s honour bar and loses himself in his own thoughts again.

It’s funny, really, he thinks, that nothing about the panel seemed really different from their previous interactions at this particular con. The touching. The fake kiss from last year. The occasional real kisses, on the neck or cheek. Ass-slaps. The longing glances.

Jensen is confused. He wants to touch Misha more. He wants to pretend these feelings don’t exist. He wants a real kiss on the lips. He wants to run away. Seriously, commenting on needing oxygen after the dancing? _C’mon, it almost sounded as if I was asking Misha for mouth-to-mouth. AGAIN._

What about Danneel? What would she say? And oh my god, Misha’s married too….What about Vicky? He doesn’t want to destroy two perfectly happy, healthy marriages!

He’s pulled out of his thoughts abruptly when he hears a knock on the door. Planning on ignoring it, he sets his finished drink down and heads for the shower. Another knock, accompanied by a voice stops him in his tracks. “Jen? Are you okay?” _Misha._

Sighing, he walks to the door and without opening it, responds, “Yeah, sure man. Just heading for a shower.” He begins to turn away, praying for luck that that is the end of the conversation.

“Well, let me in. I’ll wait. We can go for drinks with the guys after.”

The luck he has been praying for, has officially announced its cancellation from his party. There is no luck, it’s not coming, and there is no saving grace here. Luck has heard his prayers for relief and abandoned him.

While the idea of drinks sounds _great_ right about now, he knows that if he doesn’t let Misha in, the man will be relentless in his pursuit. Misha is the type who knows when a friend is feeling down. He is also the type who won’t give up until said friend is feeling better. _Damn ball of sunshine,_ Jensen thinks to himself again, _sometimes I just need a few minutes to think._

Giving in, Jensen opens the hotel room door and allows Misha entry. The man has showered and changed his clothes, making him seem more relaxed. His ocean-blue eyes, however, hold a sadness that Jensen hates. He hates knowing he made his friend feel like this. The guilt is threatening to eat him alive.

Jensen closes the door, and becomes lost in thought again, wondering if he should shower and get his thoughts together, or just pour them both a drink and get the conversation over with.

Misha plops himself down on Jensen’s bed, waiting for his friend to make a decision. Seeing, this, Jensen decides that he’d rather get it over with. _At the very least, he’s my friend. He can help me through this, if I keep it vague enough to not let on I’m talking about him._

He grabs more liquor out of the honour bar, and two glasses. He pours, grabs both glasses, and hands one to Misha. He watches his friend take a quick drink out of the glass, and turn to face Jensen.

Jensen joins his friend on the bed, and closes his eyes in thought.

“Have you ever had… a moment when… shit.” Jensen stops.

“Jen,” Misha begins, putting his drink on the end table at the side of the king-sized bed, “I would really like to know what’s eating you. I’ve never seen you stutter so much at one of these things. I’m worried. You’ve blanked out at weird times, man. Come on, tell me what’s going on.”

Silence greets Misha’s request, as Jensen tries to think of what to say.

“Is it Danneel? Is everything okay at home?” Misha asks.

“What? Oh, yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Okay then. Is it Jared? That he’s not here?”

“No. No nothing like that. I do miss Jared, but I know he’s okay at home with Gen and the kids.”

Silence as Misha begins to think the worst. “… Is it me?” He asks, in a small voice.

“WHAT?!” Jensen stands, “Why would you think that?” He continues, panic beginning to set in.

“Well, come on, Jen. If it isn’t me, what is the issue? Please,” Misha whispers, “please tell me. I can help.”

Sighing, Jensen gives in. Again. He sits back down on the bed carefully avoiding physical contact with Misha, and stares at the wall in front of him. “Mish, look. Okay. So, uh…” He stands back up and begins to pace. He finishes his glass of whiskey and pours himself a refill. Taking another drink, he begins to feel the calming effects.

“Okay. Okay, I’m going to start off here by saying please don’t interrupt. I can’t get through this if you interrupt. Please.” Looking back at Misha and seeing the affirmative nod, Jensen continues. “Let’s say… let’s say I have a friend. Who is married. But recently discovered he had feelings for another friend. Who is also married. Now, all four of these people, my two friends and their – uh – spouses, are wonderful people. My two friends love their – spouses – very much. You with me?” he asks, risking another glance at his friend.

At Misha’s second affirmative nod, Jensen takes a deep breath and continues, “Okay. Now. Say friend 1 – the one who discovered his feelings – is sure that friend 2 will never reciprocate. Sure, no problem, right? I mean, they are both happy with their wi – uh, _spouses_ – so no big deal. Right? Problem is…” _deep breath, Jen_ “my two friends, they see each other all the time. Like, ALL the time. They work together, as, uh, musicians. In the same band. Yeah. So they do a lot of travelling. With the band. But not with their spouses, although they do come along on occasion.”

Pausing, Jensen takes another glance at Misha. The man seems calm, but also curious. “With me so far?” he asks.

“Yes, but, Jen. Are these, uh, friends, involved in a band we both hang out with?” he asks.

“What? Why?” Jensen responds, slightly panicky.

“I’m just saying, if Rob or Rich came to you, it’s okay, I can help. I have some familiarity with more, shall we say, open-ish marriages.”

“WHAT?! No, man, it has nothing to do with Rob and Rich. They’re just friends, man,” he says, laughter building from his toes and bubbling up, consuming his entire being. It only gets worse at the look of total and utter confusion on Misha’s face.

Once his laughter had ended, Jensen felt calmer. He took another swig of his drink, and put his glass on the table next to Misha’s.

“It’s no one you need to worry about, Mish. I just needed to explain the situation. So. My married friend, who spend h-uh, their entire life believing they are straight, after many years of friendship, suddenly realizes he’s in love. With another person who is straight, and married.”

Misha comes to realize the problem is sounding familiar, and believes that Jensen has discovered his own secret. Namely, his massive _feelings_ towards Jensen. Quietly, internally panicking, Misha tries to interject, “But your other friend, could they have feelings for the first friend? What about the spouses?”

“No. There’s no way that friend number two could feel the same way. They are straight. And married. With kids! My friend, friend number one, knows this. He – _they_ also know that the spouses would never agree. And what about their friendship? If the secret ever got out, it would kill the friendship, along with destroying the lives of four adults and all the kids involved!” Jensen’s face falls, sadness written all over his pretty freckles and the fine laugh lines that surround his emerald eyes. He continues, “These two friends are practically best friends. The spouses hang out together all the time! The kids are inseparable! What would this do to all of them?!” Jensen asks, fear and desperation making their way into his voice.

Believing it to be a rejection, Misha panics, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’ve upset you! I never meant for you to find out how I’ve felt! I’ve tried to stop, I have! I’m SORRY! I can ignore it, I can try harder! Can we pretend this never happened?” Misha panics, eyes wild and face red with embarrassment, “Please, Jen,” he whispers, eyes fixed on the room’s carpet flooring, “I can handle anything. Except losing your friendship. Please.”

Jensen, meanwhile, is stunned. The idea that Misha could have these feelings for him, and hide them so well… Jensen is amazed. “Wait… what?”

“I’m sorry,” Misha repeats, face sad. “I told Vicky this would happen. She said to give it a chance, that you would feel the same…” Jensen is again struck dumb. Vicky? Vicky KNEW?! Wait… something doesn’t quite make sense… “Vicky knew? Vicky knew – _what,_ exactly? Please, Mish, can you start again? And please, sit down. Let’s just both sit, and take a deep breath. I’m confused, and I think you might be confused as well…. Let’s just… sit.”

Both men look at each other, seeing sadness and confusion on the other’s face, and take a deep breath. Misha reaches for more whiskey and refills their glasses. Both men sit and sip the amber-coloured courage.

Misha proceeds to explain, slowly, that he and Vicky are polyamorous. They have had previous relationships with others, usually as a couple. He explains how Vicky and Danneel have been talking about the unusual dynamic between himself and Jen, wondering if feelings were involved. He explains how Vicky explained to Danneel what poly relationships were, and what they meant. “It doesn’t mean Vicky and I love each other any less, it just means our hearts have enough room for more happiness, more love. If Vicky finds someone she can love as much as she loves me, it makes me happy to know she’s happy. And maybe the person she loves is someone I can also love. Vicky and Dani have discussed it at great length, and if I understand correctly, have discussed us. You and Me.” Misha finishes.

_This is a lot to take in,_ Jensen thinks. _Wait, poly? Is that who I am? How I feel? Yeah, sure, Vicky is awesome, and I have imagined what it would be like to join them, but Danneel… Dani and Vicky discussed this?_ Jensen suddenly stands, thoughts racing. Misha remains seated on the bed, observing, and knowing his friend well enough to give him time to adjust to the new information, try to fit the circumstances into his life. Jensen suddenly realizes he didn’t clarify something with Misha… “Hey. You thought, when I was describing the situation, you thought you were friend number one?”

Misha looks sharply at Jensen, wondering if he outed himself, Vicky, and possibly Danneel by misunderstanding Jensen’s earlier words at him. “Yes…. Who were you talking about, Jen?”

Jensen realizes that he needs to have this in the open. His friend has put himself out there for him, outed himself to him, not realizing the situation was actually reversed. Taking a deep breath, he begins. “I – I was talking about you… yes… but. But you weren’t friend number one. You were friend number two…” Jensen says, quietly.

“Jen…” Misha sighs, standing and crossing the room to where his friend has paced. “Jen. I need to know. Who was friend number one?”

Eyes closed, Jensen says the one thing Misha has been waiting years to hear.

“…me.”

“Oh Jen!” Misha stretches his arms and envelopes Jen in a hug. He moves one hand to Jen’s heart, feeling how fast it races. He places a quick kiss to Jensen’s temple, his cheek, and says, breath warming Jensen as he feels his friend close… so close… finally, “It’s all okay. Vicky knows how I feel. Danneel knows how I feel. The two of them have only been waiting for a sign from you. I know how they feel about you, and each other. They’ve just been waiting for a sign,” and he places his lush, pink lips to Jensen’s, _finally._

It only lasts a minute, never going deeper than chaste. Their lips are the only things to separate, foreheads resting together, arms locked in the sweetest embrace Jensen knew outside of Dani’s.

“Wait,” he sighs. He needs to understand that last thing Misha said, before his brain melted. “Waiting for a sign?”

“Babe. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say, for now, that Dani got curious about me and Vicky. Approached Vicky, got information. Realized her own feelings, and discussed it with first Vicky and then both of us. She refused to hurt you or cheat on you, so, it was agreed upon that we wait. That’s when my feelings for you were brought into conversation. Dani wasn’t surprised. She actually said, and I quote here, ‘Well duh. Anyone watching the two of you interact could spot the love from miles away.’ When I laughed at her, and told her you’d never feel the same, she said, again quoting, ‘Yes, he does. Give it time. I won’t move against him, nor push him, but I will wait for him. I will wait for him to be okay before _any_ of us make a move.’ And so, we did. That’s the short version of that.”

Okay. This is something he can deal with. “Mish, I need a minute. Don’t go. Have another drink. I just need to talk to Dani for a minute, okay?”

“Of course.” Misha sits back on the bed, and drinks his whiskey.

Jensen moves away, pacing, but refuses to get too far from Misha. He decides he needs to send a quick text to Dani, afraid she’d hear something in his voice. It takes him a minute to decide what to say, being direct without giving anything away.

To: Wifey 

Hey babe. So. Misha, Vicky. Poly? Thoughts? 

9:55pm 

 

It only takes a minute for the response to come back.

 

From: Wifey 

Depends on what you’re asking. I know they are Poly. I’m good with it. 

9:56pm

 

_Well. That was just as vague as my message was. Seems she doesn’t want to give anything away either. Maybe I should clarify a bit…_

 

To: Wifey 

And you? Is this something that has been on your mind? 

9:58pm

 

_That’s a little more direct, without asking too much._

 

From: Wifey 

I know you’re with Misha in Rome. Thought he would have said something. 

10:00pm

 

As Jensen sits there, wondering what she thought Misha would have said, the phone rings in his hand.

“Hey babe.”

“Jen. What’s going on?”

“Just sitting here with Misha. Con’s over, we finished our panel.”

“Yeah? How’d that go? As fun and entertaining as usual?”

“Oh definitely.”

“Good.” There’s a pause, while they both think of what to say. Finally, Danneel speaks again, “Are you okay?”

Jensen pauses, and asks the only thing he really needs to know right now. “It is true? Do you love her? Them?”

“Do you love him?” Dani responds quickly.

Taking a breath, he responds, “Yes.”

“That’s all the answer you need. We can and will discuss this more when you guys get home. All four of us. In the meantime, enjoy your time in Rome, and your time with him. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he is quick to reply.

“Call us when you guys get back on home soil. We’ll get you from the airport and have dinner. Don’t worry about me, or Vicky. We’ve been keeping each other and the kids company while the boys are out playing. You have my blessing. You both do, from both of us.” Jensen can hear Dani’s smile over the phone.

“Yeah, yeah thanks babe. Love you. And, uh, so do you. Both of you. I’ll call you from the airport.”

After another ‘love you’ and some phone kisses, the couple hang up their phones. Jensen turns back to Misha and says, tears in his eyes, “Did you know that Vicky’s over at my house right now, hanging out with Dani?”

Calmly, Misha replies, “Yes. I called Vicky and asked her to head to your place. I knew something was wrong, and I figured you’d call home. I needed to know that whatever happened between us, here, tonight, that Dani and Vicky still had each other’s love and support. Even if it meant our friendship was over.”

Smiling through his happy tears, Jen sits back on the bed and looks at Misha, “Well, that was very loving and supportive of you. For both our wives. I wouldn’t tear them apart. Outside of this new dynamic, they’re still great friends.”

“As are we, Jen. As are we.”

“How long, Mish?”

“Years.”

“And them?”

Knowing that Jensen is asking about Dani and Vicky, Misha replies, “Almost as long.”

The two are now sitting on the bed, arms gently wrapped around each other. Nothing has happened tonight outside of the soft, chaste kiss shared a few minutes ago. “Do you think this could work?” Jensen whispers, nerves starting to get the better of him.

“Jen, I believe, with my whole heart, that this could work. Our wives love us and each other, we love them. Our kids are great together, practically brother and sisters already. I know how I feel about you, and I have a pretty good idea how you feel about me. Yes, this could and will work.”

Noticing Misha said “pretty good idea”, Jensen decides to be brave. “Yeah? And what do you think I feel for you, hmm?”

“Jen. I won’t beat around the bush. This is too important. I love you,” he replies, kissing Jen’s temple again. He grabs Jensen and shifts him so he is sitting sideways, legs across Misha’s lap. “I don’t expect you to say it back. Ever. But I know it’s in there. Maybe not even full-fledged love yet, but building. All I ask is that you don’t run away from any of us while you work this out. We all love you, yes even Vicky. We all want you happy. But we won’t push. Just don’t pull away,” Misha begs, placing small kisses all over Jensen’s face again.

“I’m good, Mish. I promise. Thinking about Vicky in that way is new, and may take some time. But my feelings for you have already been building. I promise I won’t pull away. Or push you away. I do just request we take this slow. I’m aware how I feel, but I need time to adjust, and build up to more physical things, please,” Jensen replies. Misha very quickly says, “Yes Jen, as slow as you want. Can I kiss you?”

“Hell yes!” Jensen replies, kissing Misha full on his perfect, pink, lush lips, taking the reins for the first time.

He slips his tongue out of his mouth, licking Misha’s lips, coaxing them open. As soon as he feels Misha’s glorious tongue tasting him, he realizes he can have this. He can have his family, he can have Misha, and Misha’s family, and everyone can be happy.

How did he get so lucky?

“It’s because you are the brightest, most loving, giving, selfless person we know, Jen. We are the lucky ones. Dani, Vicky, the kids, and I are the lucky ones.” Misha replies, laying Jensen down on the mattress and placing licking kisses up and down his throat, moving from side to side.

Jensen didn’t even realize he asked the question out loud. But he absolutely preens in the answer, feeling the guilt and nerves that had been his bedfellow for longer than he realized spread wings and fly away. Knowing that he has his beautiful wife’s blessing, and that she is currently happy with Vicky, Jensen closes his eyes and enjoys.

On another night, the four will get together and discuss all the new discoveries, and set any necessary boundaries. They will talk about work, Jared and Gen, and how the new dynamic will work during on-set and off-set time. They will discuss their feelings, and discuss opportunities to explore. But for now, Danneel is happy at home with Vicky, with Jensen’s blessing, and Jensen and Misha are in Rome, with Danneel’s blessing.

Life is good.

**Author's Note:**

> I watched JIBCON 6 for hours and hours, pausing and rewinding constantly, to get the exact wording right. I wanted this to be as realistic as possible. In that goal, I also realized I had an issue. Wife-erasure or no wife-erasure. Happily, I did get to the point where the wives were necessary, for Jensen's internal panic. Then I hit a wall regarding how to make it happy without hurting anyone. Luckily, that solution also quickly resolved itself, partly in thanks to one of my best friends for over 10 years, whom happens to be Poly and gave me some basics.  
> I hope you all enjoyed this story. 
> 
> To the anon who posted the prompt, I say thank you. While I've only done one other prompt before, and both were for Cockles, which I've never written, I say thank you for making this story both fun and one of the most challenging pieces I have ever undertaken. I certainly hope I have made you happy with the results.
> 
> And now, I'm going to take my shippy-ass and toss it in that big blue bin over there. The one labelled "Cockles". Because I'm trash. LOL  
> xoxoxox  
> Mama
> 
> My Tumblr: MamaWantsWinchesters https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nerrrrrrrrrd


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